“Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other,
but in looking outward together in the same direction”
Antoine de Saint-Exupery
Relationships in my mind are there to teach us the lessons we need to be learning. Marriage is a perfect example this type of learning environment. Over the span of twenty years even if I often doubted it, I can now safely say that have found my soul mate. Let me clarify the term soul mate, it is not meant to be taken as the “Hollywood” version of the term, the falsely romanticized one but rather in the more realistic sense of the term:
Elizabeth Gilbert writes:
“People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life.
A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave.
A soul mates purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master…”
I like her way of looking at it. Someone we would meet to work on ourselves, a classroom partner if you will with whom we would work on lessons together. From personal experience I can tell you it is not something easy. In fact most times it is quite challenging and patience is often required. However looking back and seeing Lovely Husband’s and my journey together so far, I can say we met each other for something bigger than we could understand at the beginning and I am glad he is the one travelling with me on this journey.
My intention for this year was to reconnect with lost love and I think it is the way it will be…to find each other again…
Tell me dear friend…What is your take on soul mates?
Far Away In The Sunshine 
Hi … came back to read some more and agree about our soulmates being our mirrors. I learnt that we too have many faults which we are tolerant of .. so why not be tolerant of the faults of our mates. They too are trying to be their best in the way they know how. Live and let live … there is so much less suffering this way. What others do is simply banish love from their lives when they divorce ,separate, the words themselves explain what you may go through when such paths get chosen. Have a lovely year ….. keep commenting … then I may find you again … for I have thousands of followers and it is difficult to remember all … but I like building bridges.
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Building bridges is what it is about Thank you 🙂
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Beautiful post, Anyes. My wife certainly can “break my heart open so new light can come in.” Sometimes it is pretty painful, but in the end, I could never love the way I do without her.
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This last sentence sums it all up Kozo 🙂
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What a great topic! Love all the thoughts!
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I am glad I went through with it…I almost did not publish it as it was very personal and seeing all the answers…I am glad I did 🙂
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My partner and I have been together for 35 years now. I don’t always like him (or he me, I am sure) but love is a constant. Essentially I prefer his faults to other people’s virtues. We have grown together, we have endured together, and infuriating as he can be, I cannot imagine life without him. That said, there are other peope in my life (including in the blogosphere) who I go to for things he cannot give me. Other people who have also claimed a part of my soul. And it is wonderful to find so many people who can give me things I need. I am very, very lucky.
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I really enjoyed you saying “you prefer his faults to other people’s virtues”…it got me thinking…This post was hard for me to write and I love the answers I got 🙂
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i would simply echo sherry…i have never found one person to meet all needs nor have i met all needs for another One….i like the division of labor!
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Division of labour…I love this concept Honey…back to the thinking board 🙂
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Great post, I truelly believe in this. Elizabeth Gilbert is one off my favorite writers. She is inspiring me and learn me insights in other persons and myself. I think we all are a soulmate for someone on the way. That don’t have to be only in a relationship but you can also be it for someone you met at the grossery : ) In a relationship it has a great impact but it’s so beautiful when you accept the mirror and the insights you can learn. It’s all about love : )
Sweet greetings, Summer
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All about love indeed, whether love of oneself or love of others. Learning happens all the time with everyone we meet and this is something I really enjoy 🙂
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I don’t think there is such a thing as a soul mate. I don’t believe that there is one person just for another person. I think that every person we come in contact with has something to teach us as we have something to teach others. Many years ago I would have said I believed in a soul mate concept. Life has shown me that love has many guises. If I did believe in a soul mate concept I think it would have to be love for self indeed…coming to understand the many sides of self love and what that brings to the world. Lots to think about as usual when I come here!! xo
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Amazing thoughts!
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🙂
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As always you are bringing very valid points here Sherry. I agree with you that love comes in so many forms. I really like the fact what you read here is giving you food for toughts xo
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nice….i agree…esp that last para of her definition…i dont want a yes-person just to affirm me but def to shake me up and make me better…smiles…at your desire to have that kind of relationship as well with your husband…it is a journey we are on…that gets deeper as we go, if we want…
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It does get deeper as we go when we let it…It is very interesting to see how relationship evolve during the span of years together…Lovely Husband is def here to make me better…:-)
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yeah back to school tomorrow…looking forward to it actually…smiles..
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Enjoy 🙂
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Beautifully put, and I feel the same way – that my life mate, my soul mate husband, is my ‘classroom partner’ on this journey together. Work, yes. Patience required, yes. And the willingness and intention to work on one’s SELF, yes! Thank you for another wonderfully thought provoking share.
Hugs, Gina 🙂
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Patience required…this one is a pre-requisite 😉 Hugs to you too Gina 🙂
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