I was hoping…

I’ve always known this time would come, especially after last year’s news; yet I was hoping against reason…
I was hoping there would be much more time, I was hoping I’d get to talk much more, I was hoping time was not an issue…
Here I am today, feeling the pressure of this impending doom, looming much too close for comfort…
Somewhere in my heart I know or rather I am hoping against all odds, I will get to hug and talk and kiss and say goodbye one last time…
I am hoping for two full weeks filled with little nothings, hoping for tiny moments my heart will treasure later on…
In the meantime, tears often flow on the sides of my cheeks in frustration and sadness;this time I am learning not to stop them
I am learning that this hopelessness is making me stronger even if at this moment I am so vulnerable…