Scared or Courageous? It’s my choice

Courage is doing what you’re afraid to do.
There can be no courage unless you’re scared.
Eddie Rickenbacker

My parents’ passing within 10 months of each other was a stark reminder that life has be lived to the fullest. Deep desires are to be listened to and obeyed. Not wanting to taste the bitterness an unfulfilled passion would leave in my heart, I’m taking the opportunity I have to write everyday. The imaginary “Best Before” date tattooed somewhere on my shoulder, is pushing me to pursue my dreams. Rolling up my sleeves and getting to work on my passion everyday is the action I am starting to take.

Having done my best to forget about writing all those years I have discovered that a life without it, is not one I want to live anymore. The words I’ve often played in silence with before, now demand to be put to paper. The urge to follow through is getting harder to ignore. The half-filled discarded journals littering my younger life are now jumping out of oblivion, wanting to be re-discovered and put to use.

Right on cue and appearing from nowhere, fear is now showing its ugly head.

The tight knot now at home in my gut is one of the reminder of fear’s constant presence. Now that I “can” follow my heart, I am scared to do so. Torn between two worlds, one filled of images, words, paper,  pen and the other filled with my mundane everyday life. The question remains, which one of those worlds will I choose?

Far away in the shadowy distance my inner whisper murmurs…
“Embrace your fear and follow your dream”

Light on the Lake

Le courage est de faire ce que vous avez peur defaire.
Il ne peut y avoir aucun courage, à moins d’avoir peur.
 Eddie Rickenbacker

Le décès de mes parents à 10 mois d’intervalle l’un de l’autre a été un rappel brutal que la vie doit être vécue pleinement. Les désirs profonds doivent être écoutés et obéis. Ne voulant pas goûter l’amertume qu’une passion insatisfaite laisserait dans mon cœur, je profite de l’occasion que j’ai maintenant. Ma date d’expiration qui j’imagine se trouve “tatouée” quelque part sur mon épaule, me pousse à poursuivre mes rêves. Je me dois à moi-même de rouler les manches et de me mettre au travail, un peu plus chaque jours .

Après avoir fait de mon mieux pour oublier mon amour de l’écriture pendant toutes ces années, je découvre qu’une vie sans elle, n’est plus possible. Les mots avec lesquels j’ai si souvent joué en silence, demandent maintenant à être écrits. L’envie de poursuivre cette aventure est de plus en plus difficile a ignorer. Les journaux intimes à moitié remplis qui ont jonché ma jeunesse, sont maintenant entrain de sortir de l’oubli, de vouloir être redécouverts.

Juste a ce moment, apparaissant de nulle part, la peur a montré sa tête hideuse.

Ce noeud qui serre mes tripes est l’un des signes de sa présence constante. Maintenant que je “peux” suivre les élans de mon coeur, j’ai peur de le faire.
Déchirée entre deux mondes, l’un rempli d’images, de mots, de papier et de stylo, l’autre rempli de ma vie quotidienne et  banale. La question demeure, que vais-je choisir?

Au loin une douce voix intérieure murmure… “Embrasse ta peur et suit ton rêve”

13 Comments

  1. And in your image I see the light of the sun on the horizon, as if pulling you toward it. Let those dark clouds come, but realize the sun is always there. I think we can’t appreciate the light or the darkness without the presence of both.

    Beautiful post, Anyes!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh Anyes embrace that fear and then cast it aside….and remember there is no creativity without it…they are linked so you are on the right path my friend. Writing is my life force too….follow that dream and you will find such joy!

    Like

  3. Listen: Elizabeth Gilbert says of fear, that when her and creativity are getting ready to go in s journey together, she writes a letter to fear. Dear Fear, she says, Creativity and I are going in a road trip, and I hear you are coming. That’s fine, you have a voice. But if you’re going to come, here are the rules: you can’t drive, or navigate. You don’t get to hold the map or even buy the snacks. Choose the creative life, Anyes, but make sure fear isn’t doing any back seat driving!

    Liked by 1 person

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